The Soul of Grief - What Are Rules About Tears When Grieving
"There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love." -Washington IrvingThe value of tears is also expressed in many spiritual texts:
"You kept track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book." - Psalm 56:8 NLTIt has been said that tears are made of 1% water and 99% feelings. But tears are actually made up of proteins, salt, and water which keep the eyes healthy, as well as the heart clear. Tears are not only an important part of maintaining good eye health, they may also be important for providing good emotional health during your time of grieving. Generally speaking, there are no hard and fast rules regarding tears. The ability and amount of sadness expressed through crying is more often than not personality related. Extroverts, and people who have empathy, tend to cry easily. Introverts, generally speaking, cry less. Women do cry more than men in the United States. However, in other parts of the world, gender is not a factor in the amount of tears cried. Men and women cry equal amounts different cultures.
Rules About CryingIn my work of helping people resolve trauma and grief, there are some common things said in the confidential, safe place of my office.
- "If I let myself start crying, I might never stop."
- "I am tired of crying. The tears seem uncontrollable."
- "Tears make me feel weak. I hate crying."
- "I try not to cry in front of others. I feel so embarrassed."
- "When will these tears stop?"
- "I'm concerned about '______'. He/She hasn't begun to cry."
- "I can't cry. I want to, but I simply cannot."
I'm Kate Pieper, LMFT. I continue to be your reluctant tour guide on this journey of The Soul of Grief. The above information regarding tears is not professional counseling. It is helpful information to allow you to lean into your grief and move through it. If you would like to contact me, feel free to do so at firstname.lastname@example.org.