It's OK to NOT be OK
I help people recover from trauma. I help people realize it is OK to not be OK.I sit across from men and women on a daily basis. They come in looking for answers. At times, they do not know what the questions are they want or need to ask. All they know is life is not working at the moment. Not like they want it to work - or not like it used to - or not like it ever did. And they are tired. The awareness I have of the shame in the room is sometimes palpable. I do not mention I see the shame however, because they are simply not ready to be seen. Their desire is to be heard. -To be listened to -To find some relief. Whether the person sitting across from me is a woman, man, teen or child, or perhaps even a couple or family - they want to get out. -Out of the pain and on to the life they think just might be possible. One person may come in with the knowledge they had been violated, but have been told by well-meaning people, "forget the past and move forward."
- "Forget the past."
- "Just put it behind you."
- "You're always bringing up things you cannot change."
- "Let it go."
Until one day.One day someone hears. One day someone listens to the pain. One day someone says, "It makes sense. All of your symptoms make sense with the story of your life. You're not crazy. You are sane. You would actually have to be somewhat insane to not be feeling depressed and anxious due to what you have been through." The days I am honored to be the person who says these words to Wounded Souls are some of the most sacred times of my career. Perhaps because I am a Wounded Healer who has had the balm of grace given to me. Perhaps because I get to "comfort with the comfort I have been comforted with." Each story is different, but the same. Each journey is different, but similar. The "Me, too" of recovering from trauma or pain is a sacred journey for anyone. [Tweet "The healing journey begins with the knowledge that it is simply OK to not be OK."] It is OK to pause and connect the dots. It is OK to learn the coping skills needed to stay in the present even when the past memories sometimes flood into the here and now. It is OK to acknowledge the depression, anxiety, anger, and addiction you have been feeling. There is a way out. It may take some time to sift and sort through the pain. It may take some time to feel the feelings suppressed for a very long, long time. Healing begins when we can say, "I am not OK. I am hurting and I need help." Be kind to yourself, my friend. This journey needs to be A Brave and Compassionate Journey.
The above is meant to be encouragement. It is not professional therapy, but good sound advice from someone who has walked countless individuals through trauma-From surviving to thriving through A Brave Compassionate Journey. If you are interested in meeting with me professionally, feel free to contact me at email@example.com or 530-268-3558. We will see if I am a good fit for you. If you would are interested in a resource for Self-Care, I co-authored a book with Steve Austin. You can order Self-Care for the Wounded Soul: 21 Days of Messy Grace.